He must have a reason; at least I think he should. I don't know why I don't believe what he tells me. I just cannot help but feel that he has ulterior motives. I've made it clear that whatever they are, I'm less than interested. But I continue to converse with him under some sort of pretense of allowing him to educate me. Maybe it's not a pretense. Maybe I'm honestly interested in what he may teach. For I view it this way:
What kind of teacher teaches something in which they don't believe? What are his reasons for wanting to do so? His beliefs use to mimic mine; or so he says. But he's admittedly lied before. Do I take his word this time? For some reason I'm inclined to do so. Maybe that makes me foolish. Then it is in my foolishness I shall need extra guarding. For this is the way I view the possibilities that exist for his reasons:
There are only two. The first possibility is that he believes he is right and wants a chance to subtly teach his "rightness" unto others. Maybe he has chosen to begin with me because he senses that I am in some manner receptive to his view of "rightness." The second possibility is that he is, on some level, questioning his beliefs. That his subconscious still searches for truth he knows he hasn't yet found?
Either way, I will begin developing a more intellectual level than I thought I would. God has blessed me with the realization that to stand against the Ken's of this world, in manner and purpose, I will have to be able to debate with the best of them. I'm not sure he is necessarily the best, but in our debate, I have learned a valuable lesson. Blessing do indeed sometimes come in disguise. So, here I am. Embarking on the road to becoming a theologian, in my own right. Never will I desire to earn recognition in title or theory from others in Christendom as my discovery is not one done in a formal sense. But I realize that the time has come to delve into my God. To learn to love Him in new ways. For this reason, the conversations will continue and we will see who teaches whom.
Back in college, in 2004 when blogging was hardly even a thing yet, I was here. Blogging before blogging meant anything to anyone. You can look in the archives for my past writings, but it was much more like a journal in the past. When we started fundraising, I messed around with the idea of launching something new for this new phase of our journey but actually hated that idea. I am a sum of all of my life and so much of it is here already. So I'm keeping it here. At least for now.
My main focus these days is blogging about our newest journey into the bizarre and wonderful world of gestational surrogacy. Posts dated 2013 and forward will trend heavily toward that journey. I don't promise everything I write will be about though. There might be other things that sneak in occasionally.
Please come along our journey with us. As the saying goes, "The more, the merrier!"
2 comments:
Here is my one and only reason:
@}~`~,~~
I hope you won't continue to view me as someone whom you must "stand against".
Only time will tell.
Oh, thanks for the flower. :)
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