My face gave it all away. He asked how I was and I didn't really respond, or at least I didn't think I had. But his words were thus: "You look either spent or pissed." I hadn't stopped to consider either for too long. Was I? He had stuck gold and really that was the first time I was willing to admit it. By the condition of my language over the last few weeks one would not stop to ponder that I were a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven. Having just been given that challenge to ponder, as purity of language was the topic at service tonight ("use words to do damage" was the way they phrased it at Axis...) I stopped to think what I could say that would be less bitter than the feelings I had raging in my heart. I reflected for an instant before responding with a shrug-offish laugh, "Both I think."
I'm left now only with the fight of how to bring together purity of language with the honest feelings that are raging inside me. Better, I think, to stop talking for a while.
Back in college, in 2004 when blogging was hardly even a thing yet, I was here. Blogging before blogging meant anything to anyone. You can look in the archives for my past writings, but it was much more like a journal in the past. When we started fundraising, I messed around with the idea of launching something new for this new phase of our journey but actually hated that idea. I am a sum of all of my life and so much of it is here already. So I'm keeping it here. At least for now.
My main focus these days is blogging about our newest journey into the bizarre and wonderful world of gestational surrogacy. Posts dated 2013 and forward will trend heavily toward that journey. I don't promise everything I write will be about though. There might be other things that sneak in occasionally.
Please come along our journey with us. As the saying goes, "The more, the merrier!"
No comments:
Post a Comment