This weekend I spent a significant amount of time alone. Solitude. A tough spiritual discipline for me, but one I am finding increasingly necessary. Especially at this juncture. This weekend I had anticipated I'd discover the meaning of life - my life in any case. And if not the meaning, at least the direction.
I set a few goals for this weekend: find for myself a schedule, make sense of things that don't, put order where I'd lost it. An analytical persons definition to soul searching. I got quite for before the Lord for a few moments and quickly found that He had a completely different goal for the weekend. Frustrated I figured out a way to continue with the weekend I'd planned, though it clearly looked much different than I presumed.
The things I thought would happen didn't. And some won't. Things I didn't imagine did. I suppose I should have anticipated this shift. Complete and total surrender is less than enjoyable at times. Though when I stand back and look at my life I'm immeasurably content. After my weekend in isolation I know that I must simply wait on the Lord. It sounds awfully prosaic but the complexity of that statement is beginning to become real in my world as this week begins. A seemingly simple concept teeming with facts I cannot escape.
Though I will be writing again shortly about the invention of the superhighway system and the Village of Frip (stay tuned), isolation is important sometimes. This weekend I was reminded how to draw near to my God - alone. Without distraction. Without others around me. To wait on the Lord. To hope in the Lord. To be still. To trust. That the Lord has a different idea and I must obey His call, no matter the cost.
Back in college, in 2004 when blogging was hardly even a thing yet, I was here. Blogging before blogging meant anything to anyone. You can look in the archives for my past writings, but it was much more like a journal in the past. When we started fundraising, I messed around with the idea of launching something new for this new phase of our journey but actually hated that idea. I am a sum of all of my life and so much of it is here already. So I'm keeping it here. At least for now.
My main focus these days is blogging about our newest journey into the bizarre and wonderful world of gestational surrogacy. Posts dated 2013 and forward will trend heavily toward that journey. I don't promise everything I write will be about though. There might be other things that sneak in occasionally.
Please come along our journey with us. As the saying goes, "The more, the merrier!"
1 comment:
Wow. I really admire your ability to seek out and listen to God like this. It's probably the most difficult spiritual discipline for me cause I love to be in a state of sensory overload. Blame caffeine or maybe my large, loud family but I like noise ...and distraction ...and noisy distractions. Oddly enough I had some of my best "God times" lately when I'd be out running errands with a broken radio in my car. No auto-karaoke with Bon Jovi led to some good moments of prayer and soul searching. (But if you're ever in A-town again and don't want those times of solitude feel free to call!)
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