Reprieve

In need of a reprieve she stepped out the front door. Not knowing what she would find, she knew only that she needed to get away from this place. These walls had become something she could no longer stand. Sticking her key in the door she pulled hard, it had taken to sticking in the cold, with a determination to leave and not come back until she found something different than everything here.

The car was cold and refused to turn over the first time. By the third try the engine had lost its fight with the elements and the road beneath the tires seemed slicker than it should have been. The directions to her destination written on a post-it note, she shivered as the heat refused to blow warmly. Minutes past as miles crept along. Each one further from the place she had locked behind her. Always in her mind knowing she'd have to return. Always wondering what awaited when she did. This short trip would be a needed reprieve.

The car eventually got warmer and her breath relaxed. Cares released a little as she remembered easier times. A few turns later and the road turned to gravel. Had the directions not warned of this she might have been confused - or concerned. But she was on an expected path. The trees lined the streets and she recalled the caution of the person she would meet. "The deer scare me sometimes. Just watch out for them." Hoping she might see one, she turned her brights off. But she approached the house without seeing any wildlife. A disappointment. But only the first.

Inside she was met with a hug; one she did not give herself to completely. The company was slightly awkward; by no fault of theirs. She needed to be alone and didn't know how to react to the invitation. The things she was leaving behind wouldn't stay locked away. Though they should have, they came seeping out of her in ways that confused the other guests. Quietly she conversed just enough and played along, all along wishing not to be there either. Needing a reprieve from the reprieve she sought she fell asleep on the floor.

In the morning, blueberry muffins from a box, coffee, and conversation created a wonderful memory. A kitchen table and the moments of quietness with sacred words suddenly became the rest she needed. Suddenly there were no doors to lock. Not outside, not inside. Nothing to get away from. She felt safer. Comforted. She was no longer running from one thing to the next. She could breath without the sense that someone was sitting on her chest.

After refreshing her soul, she showered in a fancy bathroom. Out of the window there she caught a glimpse of a redbird in trees. It sort of made up for not seeing any deer. She changed clothes and could have conquered the world if someone had asked.