Today I had the broken organ tested. If you've never had the expereince in some form, neuropsychological testing is intense. I don't recommend it unless you expereince serious complications with your brain. It required a serious debrief involving a manicure and pedicure with my sister and then a cold summer treat from Culver's after that. Thanks Beth! I love that you spoil me.
Anyway, 6 hours of testing and no results to report. But I have a feeling from what I know of myself and the fact that they were actually testing things like recall and recognition, concentration and attention - the things that I've felt slipping from my grasp - that there might be something wrong. I will wait to get the results to report for sure. But I'm certain I made several errors.
A good portion of the test revolved around puzzles and mazes. These things have always frustrated me. I wanted to indicate that I didn't even like these as a kid...but I didn't. I just sat there and tried to patiently wait out the clock as I grew more and more anxious about the reasons that my brain has never liked these sorts of games. Today they weren't really games.
In another part of the test I was given words and asked how they were alike. I remember that I couldn't figure out how "war" and "peace" were alike. The answer I gave was that it's hard to think of opposites as being alike...I sounded excatly like my brain was broken! I could come up with nothing else, even when the tester asked. Maybe you can all comment on how war and peace are alike and I can feel like a normal person again...with help. Making connections is also harder I guess. There's got to be more to it than the fact that they are opposites. That does not make them alike in the least.
It was also frustrating to be asked to define words, some simple and some not so easy, and not be able to do so. I live for words; they are my tools. Some of them were - or should have been - easy. And they weren't. What I didn't tell him is that I knew them once. Maybe I should have. But that would have been altogether too embarrassing. I just shook my head and said I didn't know, or a couple times that I couldn't possibly do it without context. I'm not sure he believed me. And if he did then I'm a good liar....and he's supposed to be able to tell that stuff, right?
Until further notice, I'm telling you: I shouldn't be trusted. My brain is broken.
Back in college, in 2004 when blogging was hardly even a thing yet, I was here. Blogging before blogging meant anything to anyone. You can look in the archives for my past writings, but it was much more like a journal in the past. When we started fundraising, I messed around with the idea of launching something new for this new phase of our journey but actually hated that idea. I am a sum of all of my life and so much of it is here already. So I'm keeping it here. At least for now.
My main focus these days is blogging about our newest journey into the bizarre and wonderful world of gestational surrogacy. Posts dated 2013 and forward will trend heavily toward that journey. I don't promise everything I write will be about though. There might be other things that sneak in occasionally.
Please come along our journey with us. As the saying goes, "The more, the merrier!"
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