On Pursuing Patience

What is patience exactly? I've been struggling to discover the answer to that question for so long and I've finally come up with something! Patience, per my definition, is the refined art of waiting. Now that I know what it is, how do I explain to my impatient heart what I've finally come to understand? I've understood the concept of patience as waiting for as long as I can remember; and for as long as I can remember, I've been horrible at pursing such. Oh, sure, there have been times when I have believed the virtue of patience to be within my reach - only to watch it fall through my fingers as I'm trying to grasp hold of it. If I had known that pursuing patience was not only about waiting, maybe my pursuits would have been more fruitful; now I've finally realized why I have never been able to hold onto it for very long.

The reason is simply that unconsciously I have always known that being patient requires more surrender than I am often willing to give over to the One who created the concept. Surrendering, I've recently determined through personal circumstance, is an essential aspect of patience. To surrender takes tremendous effort and a daily commitment to do the will of my Father; it means forsaking everything familiar and comfortable for the terrifying world of unknown. Surrender takes a willingness to allow a refinement of spirit that I've only just begun to adapt in my every day life. Therefore, the pursuit of patience in my life has more to do with the refinement aspect of my aforementioned definition and far less with waiting. I find the most unmanageable characteristic of being patient is the fact that, nine times out of ten, situations that require patience are ones in which all or some of the variables are unknown. If only I knew why my being patient was required, I could probably wait two lifetimes.

Refinement in surrender is never completed, and it is for that reason that patience must be viewed as a pursuit. You cannot say one night before bed, "Tomorrow, I will wake up a more patient person." and expect that in the morning you will find your patience increased tenfold. Instead you must say in the morning, "Today, I will attempt to surrender more than I did yesterday and allow God to reveal to me areas of my spirit and life in which I need to be more patient." Becoming patient, if you're like me and not already, does not happen instantaneously. It requires daunting amounts of surrender and refining. Staying patient, if you have been blessed with the desirable quality, does not happen without continuous refinement. Either way, though it often seems utterly unattainable, patience is invaluable and it is truly a virtue that must be continually sought after.

"Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come upon the whole world to test those who live on the earth." ~Revelation 3:10

A note: I wrote this piece in January of 2003. I was looking through some old writing tonight and it seemed oddly fitting for my journey the past couple weeks.