Thankful Things

So this conception journey is daunting and hi-nigh, impossible. Charting BBT, checking CM, peeing on  sticks....  My heart is heavy already with discouragement and what I fear is disillusioned hope. But I hope, I chart, I pee.

"They"  say my attitude makes a difference. "They" say to stay positive. I say, "Sure, you try staying positive when you have an allergic reaction to the hormone that is MOST vital to getting (and staying) pregnant." 

"They" say to be thankful. Just write a list of things you are thankful for. "Ok," I say. "That's easy enough."

I am thankful for my Savior. 

I am thankful for my Love.

I am thankful for Tuesdays.

I am thankful for my sister and BIL and parents.

I am thankful for good friends - all around the globe.

I am thankful for my iPad & my iPhone 

I am thankful for the wealth that affords me the above.

I am thankful for my dishwasher, even though it doesn't work that well. 

I am thankful for clean water....to drink, to wash, to play in.

I am thankful for chocolate and other healthy foods that I like less. 

I am thankful for Epi & steroids, even though I hate them.

I am thankful for Air Conditioning.

I am thankful for a reliable (and sassy) car.

I am thankful for the good credit score that affords me the above.

I am thankful for a team of skilled and caring doctors, even when they don't have the answers. 

I am thankful for the breath in my lungs and (relatively) clean air to breathe.

I am thankful for children, even if I never have my own. 

So many thankful things to help me pull my head out of the overwhelmingness of this very new and very terrify journey. Maybe "they" know what "they" are saying. 

**Four days after I wrote this post, I got the second cyst and had the second surgery (9/1/13) that flung us onto the path we are currently traveling**