Last week I was on vacation in AZ to see the grandparents who are getting very on in years. I found I wanted to be alone a lot. I love my family. I cherished the moments we spent together. And we laughed hard and cried a little too. But I just need so much quiet these days. Which is mostly why I didn't return phone calls or emails. This week. But usually it's just that I don't have much to say.
Life is good. There is only the always of pain. Physical pain and I are not strangers. In fact we are too well acquainted. Have been for several years. But surprise! A new pain to learn in the last months has shocked its way into my system. I fear it may never leave. Legitimate fear for I've passed the 8.5 year mark with the headache. And I wonder if some of my need for quiet is just adjusting to the new needs my body has. The injury I sustained in November has been hellish and though my blood work is a good as it's ever been my body now seems to rave a revolt against me every morning. It refuses to work properly and I require roughly three hours to even begin to attempt a day's activities. There is a positive side though. Always finding the good in things, I must point out that my head doesn't bother me nearly as much anymore.
I think because I've been quiet and alone so much I'm more aware of when and how (and sometimes even why) I experience pain. It's been good to learn. Maybe even necessary for the battle ahead. Life is good. I just don't have much to say.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
James 1: 2-4
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